Since writing my thesis in December and moving here to Boston, I have been on the job market. I’ve had a few interviews here and there but all of a sudden, right as I’ve begun to get a bit desperate, I have three interviews (all good, respected companies) within a week. The prospect of having a salary and benefits (and vacation days) is so sweet that it is effecting my BG levels. Literally.
I was at an interview yesterday at Company X. It’s the perfect job. I would be doing chemistry that is similar enough to my graduate work that I wouldn’t have to spend months figuring out how to even get started but different enough to be exciting. I would work only during normal human working hours (no more nights and weekends!!) with people who seem to be incredibly friendly and inviting, and I would have enough money to move out of this mouse-infested apartment, buy a new (to me) car, and open a 401k. More importantly, I would have employee sponsored benefits. So, logically, I wanted to make a good impression so that they would want to hire me.
However, I was so nervous that the insulin in my Ping was rendered completely useless. I went into the interview (and noon and thus immediately post-lunch) with Dex showing a flat arrow at about 120. Nonetheless, I switched my Dex upper limit to 280 (normally 160), thinking that this would be high enough that I wouldn’t possibly ever reach it and I wouldn’t have to deal with and unwelcome beeps or vibrations.
The moment I set foot in the lobby the arrow rose to the NE position (which I attributed to that lunch that I mentioned), but the number was still reasonable so I figured it would be ok. However, over the course of the 4 hour interview, my BG continued on a steady climb upward. I was meeting with about 8 people from the company and I had a few minutes between each meeting to check Dex without being noticed. Each time I checked (no more than a half hour apart) my BG had rose by at least 50 mg/dL so I began to pile on the boluses.
By 2pm my BG was over 300, Dex was still pointing toward the ceiling while vibrating angrily, and I was beginning to feel pretty awful. During one break, I checked my infusion site, but found no obvious signs that it needed changing. At the next break, I snuck a bolus via syringe, straight through my gray interview pants. Nothing was helping. The people I was meeting were great which was helping to calm my nerves but the knowledge that my blood was now the consistency of pancake syrup wasn’t allowing me to completely relax.
By 4pm, the arrows had settled and I was steady at 350. I was feeling pretty crummy about the state of my blood, but great about the state of the interview, and it was time to go. I shook hands with the head interviewer and stepped back out into the world.
I pulled Dex out of my pocket and saw a down arrow for the first time since before lunch. Suddenly all of the blind bolusing that I had done in the last 4 hours didn’t seem like such a good idea. By the time I completed the 30 minutes drive home, my BG had settled down to a steady 65, a little lower than I would like but not nearly as low as I had expected based on the nervous bolusing.
It’s like my nervousness made my cells impermeable to the insulin I kept feeding it while simultaneously removing it from my blood stream so as not to cause me to crash too low afterward.
I have another 2 interviews coming up next week and now, aside from being nervous about the actual interview, I’m also nervous about the state of my bloodsugar.
I should know by next week if I’m getting an offer from Company X and I’m feeling pretty confident that it will happen.